Dear Chris: What Do I ‘Deserve’, Really?

Titlepic: Dear Chris: What Do I Deserve, Really?

In today’s Dear Chris column, the question is asked: “What do we, as human beings, deserve, really? If I truly ‘deserve’ something, if I’m really ‘worthy’, why don’t I already have it?

KEYWORDS: Abraham-Hicks, allowing, beliefs, desert, desires, law of attraction, letting it in, philosophy, psychology, thougths, vortex, worthiness.

Dear Chris,

I have been trying to get the Law of Attraction to work for me for years, but I still have problems manifesting those things that I really want.

Abraham Hicks, for example, says that it’s just a matter of “allowing”, and that I am “worthy”, and that I already have all those things in my Vortex. But I still don’t have them here, in my visible world.

So although Abraham Hicks says something like “if you can desire it, you can have it” or “if you can think it, you can have it”, my own experience is that those things that I do desire, and do think about, are still not manifested, after all these years.

This makes me wonder: Am I doing something wrong? Or is it simply that only some people deserve to get what they truly want? Maybe it’s just that I myself don’t deserve those things, for some reason?

So maybe I should just abandon the whole thing? What do you think?


Thank you for your questions and concerns.

I think you are explaining your situation very well. And I think that you are on the right track, even if you may not always think so yourself. So just relax, while I will try to give you my perspective.

You’re not Alone

First of all, I think it’s fair to say that you are not alone in stating something like this. Many other people also have similar experiences; so many readers on this site may relate to this.

However, I also realize, of course, that this may not be very “calming” or comforting to you. After all, being “not alone” may not be a good thing if the group is the wrong one. So if you’re in a group of, say, “losers”, or you simply think you are in such a group, it may not be any consolation; for you most probably want to be in the “winners” group.

But as I see it, you really are in the “winners” group. For you are in the very small group of people who have been practicing “Law of Attraction” for years. So you’re on the very threshold of the future, so to speak.

About “Deserving” and “Worthy of”

Now to your main concern. Your question seems to be something like this: “Am I, somehow, special in terms of “being worthy” or “being deserving”?”

I would say, “Yes and No.” Yes, you are “special” in the sense that your whole collection of desires, wishes, thoughts and beliefs is unique. No-one else is thinking, doing, or experiencing the exact same thing. (So please don’t compare yourself with anyone else.)

But the most important thing to understand is that you are not special in the sense of how the laws of the universe works. The Law of Attraction, as a universal law, applies exactly the same to you as it does to everyone else. It’s like gravitation: no-one can “do it wrong”. And no-one can “abandon” it.

Deserving in Principle vs. Deserving in Practice

Thus, from the perspective of the Laws of the Universe, you are just as “worthy” or “deserving” as anyone else is, in principle. But in order to actually physically manifest the things you so truly desire, you have to “allow” them to happen. You have to be in the “receiving mode”, as Abraham-Hicks would say. That’s the key. (But that’s a completely different discussion on its own)

So this is why I usually speak not just about “deserving” something, but about “deserving in principle” and “deserving in practice”, which are two different things.

From a more general (or “philosophical”) perspective one might loosely say: “Yes, you do deserve everything that you desire, or can think of, or dream of, or speak of.” This is what I call “deserving in principle”.

But that perspective is a generalization, a simplification of how things are. It’s like saying: “Yes, you do deserve a seven-figure salary”, withoutmentioning that there are certain conditions attached to getting it.

So when you ask the follow-up question: “Why is it then that I don’t have a seven-figure salary yet?”, the answer would be: “Well, you are unemployed, aren’t you? You don’t have any salary yet. So you must first get employed. And then you must . . .” In other words, there are strings attached.

Thus, in real life, when we are not just “loosely” speaking about what we deserve, but are more specific about it, then it often turns out to be conditional: you actually have to do something (particular) to end up getting it, or having it, etc. And this is why I refer to it as “deserving in practice”.

And the thing with “deserving in practice” is that it is so easy to evaluate: what you are “getting” or “having” in your life right now, is exactly that which you deserve (in practice).

So the “deserving in practice” is the real deal. It is the real thermometer of how you are doing, in terms of your Law of Attraction status.

Being “Special”

Now let’s go back to the point of “being special”. I previously said that you are unique or “special” in the sense that no-one else has the exact same collection of desires, beliefs, or thoughts as you do.

But then I also said that you are not special in terms of how the Law of Attraction is “treating” you. And that “no-one can ‘do it wrong’ or ‘abandon it’”.

And all of that, I believe, is true. So how do we explain that some people get what they want, and others don’t?

A very important factor is “attitude” or “vibration”. That is how we “earn” a nice life, where we actually get the things that we want to get. So we have to develop a nice, positive attitude, as a whole.

So it’s not really about “the thing” that you want to manifest (a cute pony, or a fast Ferrari, or a wonderful relationship, etc.); it’s the attitude toward it, and toward all other things in your life-world, that’s the important thing.

The universe treats everyone the same: it “pays” each of us according to our individual “total vibration”. A “positive-leaning” person who wants a Rolls-Royce may get one quite quickly, while a negative, “struggling-type” individual who also wants a Rolls-Royce may never get one.


Summing up: A good idea, I think, is to focus on becoming better at applying the Law of Attraction in your own life. In particular, try to perfect your “allowing”. This determines what you deserve “in practice”.

And that which you deserve “in practice” will then be ready for you as soon as you are ready for it. So you just have to prepare yourself for it.

Chris Bocay

Copyright © 2023 by Chris Bocay. All rights reserved.

First published: Fri 27 Dec 2019
Last revised: Thu 17 Aug 2023

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