Victim No More: From a Negative Stance to a Positive Dance

Titlepic: Victim No More: From a Negative Stance to a Positive Dance

This article is about “victim mentality” and the need for a law of attraction practitioner to abandon such a paralyzing emotional state in order to achieve a more positive and dynamic state of being.

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Here in the blog post I will cover some general points about the need to abandon any variety of “victim mentality” and whatever accompanying emotions such a state normally carries with it.

Our Goal: To Dance

A “perfect” life is one of continuous expansion and continuous positive experiences. In a “perfect” life new things happen all the time, and we need to “dance” with all aspects of our lives so that we can “handle” everything nicely.

Some people (actually quite many) do not “design” their lives that way. Instead of being flexible and dynamic and willing to dance, they try to “install themselves” into a corner, where they will lead a static and unchanging kind of life, and where they more or less expect to be at all times.

The classic example is when people get married with the expectation that it is going last forever. Or they buy a house with the expectation that they are always going to live there.

But in many ways this approach radically diminishes life. And in many cases nature itself will not allow it, and presents various obstacles and hinders along the way.

For a law of attraction follower, such obstacles and hinders are natural to occur, in the sense that the individuals often are worried that they are not going to be able to pay the mortgage on their house, or that their spouse is going to leave them. And so nature will deliver exactly that to them.

This means that it is the individual’s own “responsibility” to take care of his own thoughts, beliefs, and emotions, so that he or she will be able to manifest the desired state, as opposed to the “worried” state.

The “lesson” to be learned, I think, is that we must become more interested in a “dynamic” kind of life, where we are more flexible and “flowing”, in terms of the ups-and-downs of our life.

And we do that by increasing our positive momentum, so we “get out of our corner” and mobilize the courage to approach an attractive dance partner.

In other words, although it may be “interesting” on some level to observe other people dance, the real fun in life is to actually be on the dance floor ourselves. That’s where all the juice is.

Victim No More

But to be able to get on the dance floor, we must prep ourselves first, so that we can get the courage and energy to actually implement it in practice.

In practical terms, then, we must convert ourselves emotionally so that we become more positive, more flexible, and full of enthusiasm and energy.

But we cannot be very positive if we at the same time consider ourselves being victims. For then we are full of negative feelings and emotions, which cripple us in many ways.

And one of these emotions is the one of blame. There are of course different varieties of blame, but for the sake of this blog post, we can identify two: blaming others and blaming oneself.

The “easiest” perhaps to understand is the blaming of others. For in such a situation, the individual is considering himself to be (more or less) innocent, while there is some other person or group of persons (company, institution, etc.) that has “wronged” him, and has caused him to suffer in various ways.

A somewhat more tricky situation is the self-blame. Here it is not clear whether the individual can regard himself as innocent, for the whole issue is that he somehow or other blames himself for what happened.

The tricky part here is, in the latter case of the self-blame, that the situation is akin to a “stalemate”, representing a “paralyzed” state of affairs. For if the self-blame doesn’t stop, then the positive momentum cannot build.

In any case, for someone who intends to learn the basic principles of the Law of Attractionall types of blame must sooner or later be abandoned. There is no room for blame, in either the vocabulary or the behavior, of a true seeker of positivity, happiness and prosperity.

Who are the Victims, Anyway?

Being a “victim” is a typical characteristic among negative-leaning persons. These “victims” are spread all over the negative side of the negativity-positive spectrum, but typically are found in the “medium negative” N2 group and in the “strongly negative” N3 group (although there are some variants also among the “weakly negative” N1 individuals).

In the N3 category we are talking about a person who feels “victimized”. An N3 individual has, in a more general sense, an air of “hopelessness” and “being burnt out”, and is in many cases “immobilized” in terms of action.

It may very well be that the N3 person is blaming others for his situation. But that is usually not the only blame he has. Mostly, in my estimation, there is a very substantial self-blame at work, which is contributing to the “stalemate” or “paralyzed” state of being that he is experiencing.

Unlike the N3, an N2 individual is typically only blaming others. Or if he is blaming himself as well, he is doing so to a much reduced level, compared to that of the N3. The difference is substantial, for the more “active” blame towards others, and the reduced self-blame, instills a more satisfying feeling in the N2 individual.

In other words, an N2 individual feels better and more “empowered” than an N3, because he blames himself less. And it is that lessening of self-blame that opens up for the positive energy to flow better.

Naturally, however, blaming others isn’t good. But it is better than focusing on the self-blame, which only cripples oneself. So although an N2 individual is a “medium negative”, he or she still is, relatively speaking, more positive, and in a better emotional condition, than an N3.

In Practice

So how do we transform ourselves from being “victims” to becoming more positive-leaning individuals?

One way is to realize that we have to abandon any “stalemate” situations, where we are doubting ourselves in various ways, and where we, for example, are second-guessing ourselves.

Another thing we must do is to “escape” situations where there are lots of “pros and cons” to evaluate, especially those that are presented by other people (who all have their agenda).

And another point here, connected the “pros and cons” issue above, is that we have to abandon our tendency to put our faith in other people. For it is disempowering ourselves.

And this leads to yet another point, which is that we have to develop our self-esteem more, so that we don’t have to put our faith in other people. We have to become more self-sufficient, and develop more confidence.

And the way to do all of that is to continually do our “inner work”, so that we gradually can move our emotional range from the negative part of the spectrum to the positive part of the spectrum.

And when I say “gradually” I really mean it. This is not some “21 days to manifestation” scheme, but a matter of months and years.

So even if we are doing everything right, it may take considerable time and energy to transform oneself so that one, ends up on the positive side of the spectrum, in a stable state.

The exact time and energy required is of course dependent on each individual’s current emotional state. If one is already a “weak negative” N1, then it may be a relatively quick journey to convert oneself into a, say, “weak positive” P1.

But if one, for example, is a “medium negative” N2, then, on average, it will be a more elaborate journey, and in all likelihood one which takes (considerably) longer time.


We cannot continue accept being “victims”, for that is sure sign that we are on the negative side of the negativity-positivity spectrum. And we can all intuitively feel that it isn’t good to be there.

So we must decide, if we want true happiness and joy, to take ourselves out of there. For no-one is capable of doing that work for us. We have take charge ourselves.

And yes, it does take considerable work to get out of the negative territory. But the process is wonderful along the way. For every week we advance, we typically feel better and better.

In other words, it’s not that you have to wait five years to see the results. Instead, the results show themselves continuously throughout the process: week after week we experience more happiness, more confidence, more satisfaction, better focus, etc.

So when will you start dancing?

Chris Bocay

Copyright © 2023 by Chris Bocay. All rights reserved.

First published: Tue 18 Feb 2020
Last revised: Fri 19 May 2023

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