True Happiness and Satisfaction Are Not Dependent on Others

This blog post talks about happiness and satisfaction and how these are more or less entirely dependent on our own inner state of being. Only when we are in control of our inner thoughts, beliefs, and emotions do we have a chance to be truly happy and satisfied, in a deeper and more continuous manner.

In this blog post I will talk about true happiness and satisfaction. How is it possible to achieve such a state of mind, in a more stable and solid way?

Dependency on Others

There are many people who believe that happiness and satisfaction cannot be experienced without other people. Their definition is something like that it is the other people, whether family or friends or romantic partners, who enable the happiness in us. Without those others, there is no happiness. Or so they think.

And that may be all right to think so, as long as there actually is continuous happiness and satisfaction to be had in such relations. However, in real life there usually are lots of opportunities for conflicts, disagreements, and an overall non-happy state of affairs.

The reason is this. If one becomes too dependent on others, and too close to others, one also gets too involved in their business, and their way of thinking, believing, and feeling. Of course, if those people are truly happy and satisfied themselves, then there is little problem. Most people, however, are not of that caliber.

And this is why we see so much disagreements and negative attitude in relationships, whether the relationships are parental, or romantic, or in a business environment. If you become too entangled, the other party’s negative attitude will almost without exception be coming your way, sooner or later.

So even if there may be some happiness and satisfaction to be had through such relationships, they most likely also bring a substantial (and even disproportionate) amount of disturbances to one’s life.

Recipe for Disaster

In such situations, the usual route is that people act by “reflex”, and that they actively and energetically engage in various arguments and fights. And the problems don’t end when the argument is done, or the fighting is done.

For then there is the “aftermath” period, which could be weeks or months, when all these things are eagerly thought about, spoken about, and blogged about, in various ways (but almost always in a negative attitude).

All this is a recipe for disaster, a recipe for unhappiness, and continuous negativity. For what is some “peak happiness” now and then worth, if you in the mean time are more or less constantly unhappy because of all of the arguments and fighting?

Creating Our Own Happiness

The only way out is therefore to stop thinking that others can give you some lasting happiness and satisfaction; for this is, I believe, extremely rare. Very few people have a stable, solid positive attitude if they depend solely on other people for getting it.

The only “way out” from a life of negativity is to take charge of the whole situation yourself. The person who is unhappy must realize that no superficial action (such as calling one’s best friend, or one’s favorite aunt, etc.) will help the situation. All such action will make the situation worse.

This is because of the law of attraction. If we focus on problems, the universe will send more problems to us. Thus, thinking about problems, talking about problems, and blogging about problems, are all the same: they all make the situation worse, for they tell the universe that we are very interested in problems.

So instead of talking about problems (i.e. things we do not want to have), we must instead, as much as possible, talk about things that we do want. Now, this is admittedly hard sometimes, but that is one necessary component in the process of acquiring a positive attitude.

Benefits of Creating Our Own Happiness

So what can we gain from creating our own happiness? Well, first and foremost, happiness. After all, it’s happiness and satisfaction that we humans are all about. So if you are feeling great, you are already on top of the world. And the better you feel, the easier it will also be for you to manifest that which you want to manifest.

And if you know the art of creating your own happiness, you are also not dependent on other people’s happiness. You are perfectly happy on your own, since you have learned to control your own mind. So you don’t have to sell yourself short, for you know how to always keep yourself happy, energetic, and fully alive.

This is of course not to say that other people cannot make you happy, too. There is lots of room for other people to be happy with you. In fact, the happier you yourself are, the more you will attract other people who are also happy.

Another benefit is that you can handle other people’s negativity better. Since you have such a remarkably positive attitude, you are more or less immune to their negativity, at least for a short period of time. Not only because you are on a higher positive energy level, but also because you now know certain techniques of how to effectively deal with negative people.

Conclusion

Being responsible for creating your own happiness is a necessary thing for people who are into self-realization and self-actualization. The pursuit of continuous happiness and satisfaction is not possible in this world without the individual really taking charge of his own ship.

Creating your own happiness and satisfaction is like a journey — a journey within, learning how to control one’s negative thoughts, beliefs, emotions, etc. It creates a better vibe, a better confidence, a better outlook, and a future worth living.

I am not claiming that it is an easy task. Contrary to what many sources imply, it’s not a “You Can Succeed in 21 Days!” program. Rather, it is a gradual process, where you discover new things to be thankful for, new people that you haven’t seen before, and new magical opportunities where only “problems” previously were found.

Chris Bocay

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