The “No-Means-Yes” Principle of the Law of Attraction

One principle of the Law of Attraction that may not be “instinctual” to most people is the “No-Means-Yes” principle. Only if one strictly adheres to this principle will one be able to manifest those things that one desires.

KEYWORDS: aboutness, Abraham-Hicks, attention, beliefs, desires, focusing, happiness, Law of Attraction, LOA, the No-Means-Yes principle, thinking, thoughts.

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When people first hear about the idea of the Law of Attraction it may sound very easy and simple: “Just concentrate, or focus, on what you want, and it will manifest”.

Although that certainly is the basic gist of the Law of Attraction story, there are also many “small” additional rules and principles that one must adhere to in order for everything to work out in a smooth and efficient way. And the “No-Means-Yes” principle is one of those rules.

The trouble with the “No-Means-Yes” principle is that it is, for most people, hard to follow. So in this post I will talk about the “No-Means-Yes” principle, give some examples, and explain why it is not so easy to implement it in “real life”.

Thoughts and “Aboutness”

At this stage, most of you readers probably know of the Law of Attraction. The main feature of this law is that it “bounces back” vibrations that are similar to those vibrations that you yourself now, in every moment of every day, are transmitting with your thoughts, beliefs, and desires.

Thoughts, beliefs, and desires are always about someone or something. So we can say, with Tim Crane, that (Crane 1995, p. 32):

“thoughts have ‘aboutness’ because they are about things.”

This “aboutness” indicates that our thoughts are focused on a certain someone or something.

So we think about Donald Duck, Uncle Scrooge, and the cannon (Barks 2016, pp. 1-10); or about Jake and DeShawn and their societal and economic circumstances (Levitt and Dubner, pp. 188-189); or about that part of the content of Montaigne’s Essays that relates to words such as “families” and “kinsfolk” (Flandrin 1979, p. 11).

On Focus and Attention

So we are focusing our attention either on persons or things (concepts, ideas, stories, etc.). And we are thinking thoughts about those persons or things. But whenever we are thinking thoughts about a certain person or thing, we may “angle” our thought in a certain direction.

For instance, consider the episode called “The Night of the Prowler” in The Amazing Spider-Man #78 (Lee and Romita 2011), where Gwen and Flash meet in a cafe (issue #78, pp. 8-9).

Reading those pages, we might then focus our attention on Peter Parker and say something like:

“Sure, Peter gets jealous when he sees Gwen together with Flash Thompson in the cafe. Who wouldn’t be, with a beautiful girl like Gwen?”

Or we could turn it around and evaluate it in a more negative way:

“Why in the whole world would Peter get jealous in that situation? That’s so immature!”

But whatever stance we are taking, we are doing it in reference to the person or thing that we have in focus.

So according to the Law of Attraction, the “star” of the show, so to speak, is not the stance that we are taking. Rather, the “star” of the show is the person or the thing that we are focusing our attention on. The spotlight is on him, her, or it (or them, if more than one).

The “No-Means-Yes” Principle

Thus, regardless of what we may think about someone or something, the Law of Attraction will give us similar thoughts and vibrations back.

Attention to a certain someone or something will always give you more of that someone or something (or more of a similar version of that someone or something).

In the words of Abraham-Hicks (Ask and It Is Given, p. 41):

“Whether it is a thought of something that you want or a thought of something you do not want–your attention to it invites it into your experience.”

And in a different place in that same book, they continue (p. 90; my square brackets):

“When you give your attention to something that you desire and you say yes to it, you are including it in your vibration. But when you look at something you do not want and you say no to it, you are [also] including it in your vibration.”

And then, in another book, they clarify why this is so (Money, and the Law of Attraction, p. 45; my square brackets):

“Your attention to it, and therefore your vibrational alignment with it, is what is causing the response [of the Law of Attraction]–not your words.”

So it doesn’t matter if you say “Yes!” to nuclear power stations, or “No!” to them. It’s all the same thing, in terms of the attraction power for the Law of Attraction.

Your Personal Spotlight

Therefore, if you focus your thought energy on “nuclear power stations” (whatever your attitude towards them is), you will eventually get them, in some way, shape, or form. For in either case, you have your personal spotlight on them.

In other words, the color of the light coming from your spotlight is irrelevant. Regardless of whether your spotlight shines with a red light (symbolizing “No!”) or a green light (symbolizing “Yes!”), the Law of Attraction will have to kick in.

So whichever “light bulb” we use in our spotlight, whether green or red or anything in between, the object on stage (whether it’s your dog, Peter Parker, nuclear power stations, or the latest (outrageous) invoice from your cell phone service provider) will still be illuminated and visible to the Law of Attraction, which then immediately will start its “bouncing back” magic.

Applying Is Not Easy (1)

Therefore, to avoid getting nuclear power stations into your own life, the recipe is not to go out and protest on the street, or on the web. The (only) recipe is to stop thinking about them, altogether.

And this demonstrates some of the difficulties with the “No-Means-Yes” principle. For it is not so easy to simply turn one’s back to a problem that may result in a nuclear meltdown (maybe it’s close to one’s home, or a dear friend’s home?) or other non-pleasurable scenarios.

And even if one personally would be able to control one’s mind to such a degree that one could refocus onto topics such as, say, the wonderful beaches of Ibiza, or the amazing inventions of Nikola Tesla, or the baffling biology of butterflies, there are several other factors that make it even harder.

One such factor is that there are lots of news channels and websites that offer the latest stories on the world’s greatest current problems. So in order to succeed with one’s refocusing, one must either avoid these altogether, or, at the most, only spend max one minute looking at them (not on each of them, but on all of them, taken together).

This is because after one minute there has already been a negative change of one’s vibration, and continuing watching those stories will make it even more negative (see: What Is the 17-Second Rule that Abraham-Hicks Talks About?). So already after one minute, one will be in a worse situation than before one tuned in to the news of CNN, NBC, or BBC.

Applying Is Not Easy (2)

But that is not all. For even if one would be able to implement a “no-news” policy (or a “next-to-no-news” policy) in one’s own life, most other people (friends, family, coworkers, etc.) are typically quick to talk about those hot topics (or, perhaps even worse, about other, more personal problems that they want to run by you).

So one must also be very “vigilant” in terms of conversations with one’s friends, family, and co-workers, and NOT accept talking about negative news, whether it’s related to the global political arena, or to someone near and dear.

Considering these rules and restrictions, it seems to me that most people will not be able to follow them, at least not in a consistent way.

Therefore, such people will mostly not be able to accomplish anything substantial with the Law of Attraction. It is only for people who are selfish enough to basically ignore other people’s (bad) feelings, and carry on with their own positive affairs.


In order to really get going with the Law of Attraction, one must thoroughly understand the “No-Means-Yes” principle.

But just understanding it is, of course, not enough either. For one must practically really learn to apply it in one’s own everyday life.

And, as we have seen, this can be quite tricky. And this is especially so if one (like most people) cares too much about what other people think and feel.

Nevertheless, by prioritizing one’s own thoughts and feelings more than those of others, it is certainly possible to master the “No-Means-Yes” principle.

The question is just: Are we willing to “sacrifice” or “ignore” the thoughts and feelings of our friends, family, and coworkers, so that we instead can start manifesting more of what we’d really like to see in our lives?

Or do we rather continue our “politically correct” way of life of not “hurting” other people’s feelings, and thereby basically nullify our chances of ever achieving any substantial good-feeling manifestations?

Whatever you decide, best of luck!

Chris Bocay

Connect with Chris Bocay on Twitter


Barks, Carl (2016), Terror of the Beagle Boys. The Complete Carl Barks Disney Library. Volume 10. Seattle, Washington: Fantagraphics Books, Inc. [Link to book]

Crane, Tim (1995), The Mechanical Mind: A Philosophical Introduction to Minds, Machines and Mental Representation. Harmondsworth: Penguin Books. [Link to book]

Flandrin, Jean-Louis (1979), Families in Former Times: Kinship, Household and Sexuality. Translated by Richard Southern. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. [Link to book]

Hicks, Esther and Jerry Hicks (2004), Ask and It Is Given: Learning to Manifest Your Desires. Carlsbad, CA: Hay House, Inc. [Link to book]

Hicks, Esther and Jerry Hicks (2008), Money, and the Law of Attraction: Learning to Attract Wealth, Health, and Happiness. Carlsbad, CA: Hay House, Inc. [Link to book]

Lee, Stan, John Romita, et al. (2011), Essential Spider-Man. Volume 4. Second edition. New York: Marvel Worldwide, Inc. [Link to book]

Levitt, Steven D., and Stephen J. Dubner (2006), Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything. New York: HarperTorch. [Link to book]

Tesla, Nikola, and David Hatcher Childress (1993), The Fantastic Inventions of Nikola Tesla. Kempton, Illinois: Adventures Unlimited Press. [Link to book]

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Copyright © 2022 by Chris Bocay. All rights reserved.

First published: Mon 21 Mar 2022
Last revised: Sun 7 Aug 2022

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