Self-Esteem and Limiting Beliefs

This blog post deals with self-esteem and the power of thoughts and beliefs: how “good” thoughts and beliefs can actively support you, while “bad” thoughts and beliefs may work against you.

One of the most important things to do in life is to adopt the right kind of beliefs. So I am going to spend some time in this blog post to talk about why the adoption of the “right” kind of beliefs is crucial, and what might happen if one does not adopt the “right” beliefs, but the “wrong” ones instead.

The Goodness of Un-Limiting Beliefs

There is a universe of possibilities; this is a world of virtually unlimited potentialities; the problem is just that few people see it that way. But it is possible, I say, to get to that point where we clearly can accept these above statements as facts and reality. And there is a way to do it.

And when we come to this point, when we have acquired a “clear vision” so to speak, all our problems are solved more or less immediately. For when we are at that point, we will be “P3s”, according to my terminology: we will be in the highest “rank” of positivity, in the most energetic and happy state of affairs possible, where nothing is impossible. And in such a state, most of our beliefs are “unlimited” and “un-limiting”.

As I have already indicated above, most people are not in this category. Instead of “un-limiting” beliefs they have “limiting” beliefs. The “limiting” beliefs create a sort of “unstable”, or “wobbly” energy nature, where the individual is not sure about his power.

For a person with such a “wobbly” energy nature, it may be true that there are endless opportunities and possibilities for some other, “chosen ones”. But for himself, he does not accept the idea that he is anywhere near “super-potent”.

And this has consequences in real life, according to the principles of the law of attraction. Because of his beliefs, his life will turn out the way he believes it to be. So if he believes that he is the luckiest guy in town who always gets everything more or less free of charge, then that is the drama that the universe will present to him.

Conversely, as in the majority of cases in real life, if he sees himself as a “struggler”, always complaining about this and that, viewing himself not as a “winner”, but (more or less) as a “loser”, then, in a similar fashion, the universe will play out the drama in that way, according to his beliefs. Thus, his journey will be less smooth and more troublesome than if he had more “un-limiting” beliefs and a higher self-esteem.

Beliefs about Ourselves

Most people have quite low self-esteem. Or at the very least, lower self-esteem than they could have had. Such low self-esteem naturally depends on a whole array of factors. Still, one crucial factor is, I think, one’s inner beliefs. That is, having limiting beliefs and low self-esteem go hand in hand.

In general, beliefs (limiting, or not) can, naturally, be just about anything in the universe and beyond: there are trillions of different possible thoughts to be thought, which then may later be adopted as beliefs, potentially. But even if the thoughts that we might come up with are virtually unlimited in number, I think we can simplify the situation by simply dividing them into a few different groups.

The handful of groups I am thinking about are these: thoughts about oneself, thoughts about other people, thoughts about politics, ethics and morality (“appropriate behavior”), thoughts about individual animals, plants, trees, nature (our pets, our livestock, our Dahlia flowers in the garden, etc.), thoughts about the general state of the environment and our planet, and thoughts about our human existential situation (death, afterlife, God, angels, etc).

Now, to simplify things even further we might say something like this: Since the whole issue is about self-esteem, we only need to worry about “correcting” ONE of the types of thoughts we have, namely our “thoughts about ourselves”. And once we have done that, and really believe that those new thoughts about ourselves are true (so that they are no longer just thoughts, but firm beliefs), then we are one step closer real success and happiness.

Beliefs and Low Self-Esteem

Although this might sound good on paper, this is, in my opinion, a very simplistic take on it. I do agree, of course, that much of the “core problem” lies in the “thoughts about ourselves” group of believes. But the problem is that the thoughts and beliefs we have about ourselves are not always independent of other thoughts and beliefs we have, about other things.

Thus, Robert, for example, may have thoughts about himself that are a result of him comparing himself to other people, or perhaps to other men, in particular. And Sarah, for example, may have thoughts about herself that are a result of her comparing her own behavior with some “ideal” behavior recommended in some religious, spiritual, or political doctrine.

This means that Robert’s thoughts (beliefs) about himself is dependent on his thoughts (or beliefs) about others. So if Robert thinks, for example, that “All men born in Paris are very, very powerful persons”, then it might be hard for himself, born in Lyon, to believe anything else than that he is just “so-so powerful”.

Similarly, if Sarah thinks (or believes), because of her religion, that “All good, pure people go to Church on Sunday”, then she must conclude, as a “not-so-often-in-Church-goer”, that she is not so good, or not so pure.

“Comparison” as the Common Denominator

So one interesting observation we can make in this blog post is that the idea of “comparison” might be at the heart of many low self-esteems. In fact, many books on increasing one’s self-esteem are written in such a comparative way.

But that is not really the biggest issue. This is because comparing oneself to others may also work the other way. If one’s estimation of others is “lower” in some way, then this might lead to an “overestimation” of one’s own “factual” status.

The interesting thing here, though, is that this latter estimation works FOR the individual, not against him, in terms of building his self-esteem. For by underestimating others (in certain respects), one can easier gain a better self-esteem.

However, even if this is true, I would not recommend that route. For I think it is still recognized by the individual himself, on some level, that the reason for his new-found self-esteem is wrong.

So I think the idea here is that we must go about our “building-our-self-esteem” project in an honest way, so that we avoid looking down on other other people so that we can “honk our own horn” more.

In other words, we have to correct not only our thoughts about ourselves (our self-image), but also correct our thoughts about everything else, too. For it is not really sustainable to think more (or less!) of oneself than of others.

Our real project is not to “get ahead” in the rat race; our real project is to figure out how we can get happier and happier. And that can only come from the inside.

Conclusion

Yes, I do agree that it is important to change our own beliefs about ourselves. But it is also important not to “load” those beliefs with evaluations of other people’s abilities or status, or worth. In other words, we must stop comparing ourselves with others, when we are building our self-esteem.

For only if we can build our self-esteem “privately”, so to speak, will we be able to set the bar higher. And we need it higher. For “higher” is where all the happiness, success, and juice is. Always.

Chris Bocay

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