Dear Chris: My Neighbors are Driving Me Nuts!

Titlepic: Dear Chris: My Neighbors are Driving Me Nuts!

In today’s Dear Chris column, the question is asked: What should I do to make my neighbors comply with the official rules of the apartment complex that I’m living in?

KEYWORDS: beliefs, complaints, emotions, feelings, law of attraction, neighbors, philosophy, psychology, security, thoughts.

Dear Chris,

I am a hardworking Project Engineer here in the West Midlands region, and I am in my early fifties.

I have a problem with my neighbours, who are driving me completely crazy!

My situation is this. I live on the ground floor in a multi-unit apartment building, with a security system that prevents visitors entering without a special key.

But my neighbours do not care about the front door security system. They live higher up in the building, and they most probably don’t want to run the stairs unnecessarily when their big families and many friends visit.

So they often, with various methods, “hook up” the front door, so that it stays open, and thereby sets our whole security system out of order, leaving it open for various thieves and rascals to freely enter.

And this is particularly problematic since it so frequently happens in the late evening, even after 10 or 11 pm.

So I wonder what to do about that? How should I handle it, in terms of the law of attraction? Do you have any good ideas or suggestions?

“George” (Birmingham, England)

Dear George,

Thank you very much for your interesting questions and concerns.

Although every person’s perspective, and situation, is unique, I will still try to give you some new ideas that you may want to think about, as seen from my own point of view.

Note, however, that I regard these only as “philosophical ideas”, and not as any professional counseling advice, or anything like that.

You yourself have to evaluate them according your own situation and perception, and you yourself have to decide, on your own, what to do about the whole thing.

Complying vs. Complaining

The word “comply” doesn’t rhyme with “complaint”, but both words start with the same five letters. And we can use that to our advantage.

For if we think “comply”, then we can make a mental association with “complaint”. And that will remind us that when we are asking someone to comply, we essentially are complaining about them and their behavior.

And if there is one thing that we must avoid, as students of the law of attraction, it is that we must always stay away, as far as possible, and as long as possible, from all types of complaining.

Our Job Is This, Their Job Is That

We must realize that other people always do what they want to do. And they do what they want to do, in most cases, regardless of what we ourselves want them to do. In other words, we cannot control them in any real sense.

People will always satisfy their own desires and wishes. They will always try to get away with doing their thing, instead of doing the thing that other people want them to do. And that’s perfectly all right.

For it is not their job to satisfy our wishes. Their job is to satisfy their own desires and wishes. That’s what it’s all about.

Similarly, it is not our job to satisfy their wishes. Our job is to satisfy our own desires and wishes. So the rules of the law of attraction game are pretty simple and straightforward.

What Not to Do With the Door

So in the case of your neighbors and the front door, there are three important “don’t dos” that we can follow, if we want to keep our current emotional state as high as possible.

The first thing we must avoid doing is to try to prevent the thing from happening. So in your case, your job is not to try to convince the other neighbors that they must always be sure to keep the front door closed, as the apartment building regulations prescribe.

The second thing we must avoid doing is to try to catch your neighbors in action, so to speak. For it may tempting to confront them in order to “teach them a lesson”. That is something that is highly discouraged. It will only make things worse.

The third thing we must avoid doing is to try to make your neighbors “pay” for what they are doing. So it may be tempting, if we know who has done it, to approach them and ask them to “repair” the situation, in the sense of physically going down to the front door to close it. But that is also not a recommended procedure.

So these three situations are all examples of what a law of attraction follower would be very careful not engaging in.

No Focusing

But these three “don’t dos” are not really the whole story. There are more things to consider, if we are to be able to maximize your emotional state.

One important thing to remember is that you are not the door keeper. It’s not your job to watch who’s entering the building and who’s not. And it’s also not your job to continuously monitor the front door, to make sure that it is closed at all times.

The main point here is that we do not want to think about that door all day long. We do not want to focus on all the possibilities of that door being open, or not being open, or how long it has been open, and who opened it, and then also worry that it might attract thieves or strange people, etc.

Therefore, we must immediately abandon all focusing on that door, and all topics related to it.

What Should I Do, Then?

I think the best thing to do simply is this. If you, by chance, hear that something is happening with the front door, quickly see if it’s left open. And if so, you simply go down and close it. That’s it.

And if someone else complains about your behavior, then your comment may be: “You do what you like to do, namely opening the door. I just do what I like to do, namely closing the door.”

So there is no blame, or hate, or accusing, or anything like that. We understand why people act like they do. And we let them do what they do.

But we also allow ourselves to do what we want to do. And especially so in this case, since we know that our actions are fully in harmony with the official rules and regulations of our apartment building.

And all of this fits perfectly with our main goal, as practitioners of the law of attraction: we want a less bumpy ride in terms of our emotions, so that we can concentrate on becoming more happy, more content, and more successful.

Chris Bocay

Copyright © 2023 by Chris Bocay. All rights reserved.

First published: Sun 16 Feb 2020
Last revised: Sat 9 Sep 2023

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