Making Conversations Better, Part 1: Don’t Tell That Juicy Story!

post0030_splash_chris-bocay_making-conversations-better-part-1-do-not-tell-that-juicy-story

This blog post is about the art of conversation, as related to the law of attraction. I will here be talking specifically about the “need” to impress others by telling juicy stories.

Keywords: conversations, happiness, impressing others, law of attraction, personal development, positivity, storytelling.

SEE ALSO:
All Blog Posts

BuyBooksByChris

Making conversation is not very hard. One just basically have to open one’s mouth, and not be afraid of saying something too corny or too stupid. So that’s pretty simple.

However, this blog post is not really about “making conversation” in that sense. It is rather about the art of “deliberate” conversation in a law of attraction setting.

So it is meant to be a more thoughtful approach of what to do in conversations that is geared to serving your own personal development toward more and more positivity, happiness and well-being.

Storytelling is King

One of the reasons people get together is because they love listening to stories. Another reason, is because they love telling stories. So storytelling is “big” in conversations.

But storytelling is also big on another scale. It does not just occur in our simple everyday conversations, but also in various forms of very expertly produced entertainment: TV shows, Hollywood movies, the latest New York Times Bestseller novels, etc.

So there is lots of competition when it comes to storytelling. And this leads to a very practical question that some readers may recognize from their own experience: Do you want to meet your friend at 7 p.m., or rather see the latest TV show, at that time?

If the TV show has a very interesting story, and your friend is not a very good storyteller (or simply has too boring stories to tell), then you might decide to quickly skip your friend, and tune in to that TV show instead.

And that may be a very wise decision on your part, if the TV show is “uplifting”, in terms of creating more happiness and positivity in your life.

But if the TV show is not very “uplifting”, but instead promotes hate, jealousy, greed, and other negative emotions, then the choice may not be so good. Maybe then it would have been better (in terms of your overall level of positivity) to see your friend.

The “Need” to Entertain Others

Most people are interested in being recognized by others. And since most people are not stunningly beautiful or incredibly rich or anything like that, they have to make themselves interesting in other ways.

And one way of doing exactly that is to develop one’s ability to tell “fantastic stories” that are interesting, exciting, surprising, thrilling, etc. Because such stories will be captivating to most people listening to it.

So the idea is that the more “exotic” and “engaging” and “juicy” it is, the more it will captivate the one who is listening to it.

The reason they do that is, as I have said, to be recognized by others. Another reason, perhaps a more fundamental one, is that they are not confident enough in themselves. And because they are not confident enough about themselves, they turn to “social proof” to get assurance that they “are somebody”.

So the “need” to entertain others comes partly from an internal recognition that “maybe I’m not so great” (or something like that), which leads to a behavior where the person tries to validate himself with the help of others. As long as the audience claps their hands after their storytelling performance, all is good. Or?

What’s Your Objective?

Well, it depends on what you are after. You yourself have to set your priorities straight. You have to know what you truly want, and also what you don’t want. That’s the law of attraction 101 course.

So if your desire is to keep exactly the same friends as you have always have had, then, of course, you may continue to entertain them the way you always have.

This is, of course, not a complete guarantee that they will agree to being your friends in the future, for they may find new and more interesting friends to be around. But maybe they will stick around anyway, to some extent. Who knows?

The Law of Attraction Perspective

But people who are seriously invested in the law of attraction are putting themselves first. Their priority is to develop their own personality and “inner world”. Their focus is not on “trying to please others”, whether it is about telling “juicy stories”, or by other types of flattering or “pleasing behavior”.

This, however, is not to say that people doing serious law of attraction work are not interested in storytelling. On the contrary, they are extremely focused on storytelling, as a tool for developing their positive personality.

So for a law of attraction follower, his storytelling “rules” are different than a non-follower’s “rules”.

The first “rule” for a person into the law of attraction, is that storytelling is mostly an internal skill that has to be mastered. Although storytelling may be done also in conversations, the real “challenge” for a law of attraction enthusiast is to master his inner conversation, his “self-talk”. That is extremely important.

The second “rule” for a law of attraction follower is that his storytelling (whether internal or external) must be in harmony with his own continuous development of more positivity and happiness, etc.

The second “rule” therefore practically boils down to the idea that his storytelling must please himself in the first hand, regardless of whether it also pleases someone else.

Two Types of Stories

Here are two examples of stories that may serve as a basis for the discussion that follows below.

“SIMPLE STORY”

I was in such a good mood yesterday. So I went out, and I found a twenty-dollar bill right outside my house. And then, when I went to the grocery store, I met my soulmate in the vegetables section. Can you believe it? And then, because I was in such a good mood at that time, I also won 4,000 dollars on one of those instant lottery tickets. So I had such an easy, trouble-free, perfectly wonderful day yesterday. As I always have!

“COMPLEX STORY”

I have had a rough life, you know that. I have always felt that I had to fight to even get the smallest things in life. So when I opened my mail yesterday, there was this new problem: they were going to shut off all my electricity within 24 hours, if I didn’t pay it immediately at their office. But their office, of course, is far, far away from where I live. And my problem was also that my car wasn’t working very well. So I had to figure out how to get there without my car. And as if that wasn’t enough . . . etc.

The Nature of “Juicy” Stories

The “simple story” is the story a law of attraction enthusiast would be telling. It has extremely little tension and conflict. It virtually does not speak of “problems” or “obstacles”, and it doesn’t mention any previous negative experiences or opinions. It’s a very positive account of all good things that have been happening, or are about to be happening.

Most stories, however, are not “simple stories”. Most stories are of the second variety (“complex story”). This is a “juicy” story, of the same type so many novels and films are based upon.

It’s usually called “The Hero’s Journey”, and it is a tale of the hero overcoming almost insurmountable obstacles, before he finally, after a tremendous amount of time, money, and energy, succeeds in his struggle, and wins the fair lady and the kingdom.

So the operating word here is “struggle”. In the “complex story”, the “juice” is the struggle, not the outcome of the story (getting the girl and the kingdom). So in such a story, there must be continuous flow of problems and obstacles.

And not only that. The problems and obstacles must, in traditional screenwriting manner, increase in their severity and extent as the story progresses.

And that means that the person who is telling the story must also invest valuable emotional energy to retell it in a “powerful” way as the story proceeds, so that the audience understands how serious and fantastic everything was.

Skipping the “Juice”

So my “recommendation” then, for serious followers of the law of attraction, is to skip the “juice”. Do not tell such long, problem-based stories. For you are regurgitating and “ossifying” your problems and obstacles along the way.

This fascination with all the negative things that have happened to us (and to our friends) will keep us in the negative “land” of problems and obstacles. It will increase our negative emotional momentum, not our positive one. It will increase the probability of us experiencing more problems of a similar nature.

The same goes for listening to other people’s stories. Don’t listen to such “complex” stories. Instead, find new friends who have a more positive mood in their stories.

Such friends will be relatively easy to find if you are first very careful about your own positivity and happiness. This is the power of “pre-manifestational positivity”, as I have spoken about earlier: your new friends will manifest when you are positive enough.

Chris Bocay

ConnectWithChrisOnTwitter


Copyright © 2020 by Chris Bocay. All rights reserved.

Last update: Fri 31 Jan 2020.

Cite as: Bocay, Chris (2020) “Making Conversations Better, Part 1: Don’t Tell That Juicy Story!” Website: <https://chrisbocay.com>. Accessed: [today’s date].

NOTE: By using this website you agree to our Terms of Use, including our Privacy Policy, Cookie Policy, and other policies.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: